Surrealness Follows

And I said, "You know we were one moment away from a surreal comedy sketch there..."


We're in the wrong place, it's been decided. Thursday night saw Dan and I go out in St. Kilda, a surburb slightly to the south of Melbourne's city centre which doesn't have quite as many drugs and crack whores meaning it's become less fun and more touristy. In a way it's like the sea that surrounds it, beautifully looking but still full of stinging jellyfish.

Dan had met some people while playing golf with Michael Greco and we ended up at a place called the Vineyard right in the maelstromic centre of what was ostensibly 'Partyville'.

I've never properly met Michael Greco before but he's always seemed a fairly surly type at the poker table, however I was totally wrong as away from the table he's actually one of the friendliest people around. Despite having left Eastenders maybe seven years ago, he still gets stopped 3 or 4 times a night to take photos, and then deal with a lot of drunken shit we gave him such as a) Singing the first verse of Brian Adams' "Everything I Do' at him after he declared he'd just seen the girl of his dreams a couple of tables over and then walked over there to talk to her and then b) Random Eastender themes whenever he was chatting up other women.

The most surreal moment though occurred at the Espy, a proper 'Aussie' bar. We'd walked from the Vineyard with Greco bring a blonde girl who was about two drinks from either passing out or turning into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. It looked like a toss-up. Dan had lost his driving license (most unlike him). Adam and Alex were smoking outside which left Greco, Paul and myself inside standing around having a drink. At this point a woman turned up with a man tagging along behind her. Semi-attractive? Maybe. Semi-biker? Quite possibly. Semi-drunk? Almost definitely. Semi-sane? I couldn't answer.

She immediately recognised Greco and moved right up close to him, ignoring the traditional unspoken rules of personal space, one hand interlocked with his the other on his arse. The man just stood there next to them with a slight glower.

I stood there thinking almost in slow motion, "Is...that...guy...her...boyfriend?" as Greco and the girl's faces were about an inch apart. The Holmes inside of me twigged when I saw they both had matching tattoo's on their left arms, and all I could think of was that scene in The Office where they go to a nightclub and Gareth gets taken home by that couple...

Soon though the woman left while the man followed glowering at Greco as he did so, I went over to Greco and I said, "You know we were one moment away from a surreal comedy sketch there..."

He gave me a slightly relieved look and said, "Yeah, just one minute away..." We then both turned to look and standing there was the drunken blonde girl Greco had brought over from the Vineyard. She promptly collapsed. The sketch was complete.

Song of the day: She Said What? - The Quantic Soul Orchestra